New Adventure - Next Exit
3 years into the move and the Missouri Adventure we embarked on has been chock-full of unexpecteds. We unexpectedly walked away from the house we were in the process of purchasing in Eldon. We unexpectedly moved to Springfield. We unexpectedly moved into an apartment. Then we unexpectedly bought a house. We unexpectedly bought a dog, and I unexpectedly fell in love with it.
We unexpectedly miscarried our first child. And then unexpectedly spent the majority of a year doing fertility treatments. We expectedly got pregnant and then unexpectedly went into labor at 17 weeks. We’ve navigated through uncharted territory in grief, and unexpectedly learned more of who God is as Father through pain. We unexpectedly became a 1-income family when Mason unexpectedly went back to school, all the while our finances seemed to be in shambles Father was expectedly providing for us, His kids, sometimes in frustratingly unexpected ways. And just a month before Mason graduated from barber school, a change in employment unexpectedly came on the table… at a time when Father had just spoken to my heart, “Don’t ever think a piece of paper can limit My ability to use you,” in reference to not having my master’s degree finished. And the next day I’d literally just said, “Okay, Father, I’m here as long as you have me and I’m content right here.” And then the next day my friend unexpectedly tells me she and her husband and daughter are moving and I’m the only one she could think of who could—in short—take her role to the next level. Talk about flabbergasted and entirely not at all what I’d expected! I told her I’d pray about it, though truthfully I thought I knew Mason probably wouldn’t be on board, but boy was I wrong!! He immediately jumped to how perfect of a fit he thought I’d be, followed by alllllllll the logistical benefits that I wouldn’t have thought of so fast.
I texted a couple girlfriends and asked them to be praying for direction and discernment, as this job wouldn’t just mean starting a new job but also selling our house, moving, and rehoming our Winnie Boy. One of my girlfriends included this in her response, “I encourage you to keep an open mind. Try not to jump to all the what if’s (selling the house, having someone care for Winnie, etc etc) and just focus on the opportunity. Dream a little before worrying about the natural stuff.” That encouragement to “Dream a little” changed everything. I didn’t realize that my dreams had become so abstract, lacking any defining or specific details. Much like a painting open to interpretation, confused as to how such a painting could mean anything at all. Those 3 words led me to a place in my time with Father where He asked me an unexpected question… one He’s never asked me before and quite honestly, one I didn’t think was a question God would ask His child. “Charis, what do you want?” Now, this wasn’t a parent annoyed with their child’s persistent asking of something. No, it was more like having coffee with a parent and their desire is to make the desires of your heart become a reality, but they want to know what that desire is… to know what that dream is. It was an unexpected switch from, “Father, what do you want of my life?” to “Charis, what can I make happen for you?” Isn’t that so like God? I didn’t know it until that moment, but isn’t it like Him to ask a question that He knows the answer to but in one question reminds me who He is, the Father He is. The Father who cares about my dreams, cares to revive my dreaming, fully knowing they can’t happen without Him.
For the next several weeks, I started dreaming again. Habakkuk 2:2-3 says,
““And the Lord answered me: “Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it. For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.”
While there is so much that could be said about these verses, with dreaming came visions and writing them down. Through pain, God birthed so much vision in my heart. Through death, so much life has been growing inside of me… and like that show, I didn’t even know I was pregnant—not pregnant with child, but pregnant with vision.
Back in March, I attended a retreat called Eden Retreat hosted by I Am Fruitful. I went with questions and looking for specific answers. God had more for me than just my answers; in fact, He blew my answers out of the water! The Eden Retreat was so much more than I expected, and I left being decided on my next step. So. I waited. I got home and waited for the application portal to open. For a little more than 4 weeks, I waited and God continued to give me sign after sign. And yet even after the application portal opened and after I applied and after I completed the questionnaire where I poured my heart out for this position and after all the prophetic words… the enemy tried to seed doubt and confusion. Sadly, I began to question God and who He is. I began to question if He would allow me to be the recipient of this job opportunity. I questioned if He wouldn’t give it to me if I spent too much of my focus on how this job would be a major financial blessing. What the enemy didn’t know was that while he was lurking in shadows to make me question who God is, God was shining light on that same shadow to heal the place in my heart that was believing the residual lie that I wanted a baby and because I wanted him so much, God took him from me not to leave me empty-handed but with a learning opportunity or to develop a taste for what could be. Such a tricky, dirty lie from the enemy, an intentional attack at the journey through identity and knowing who God is. Nevertheless, what the enemy planned to deter and harm, God flipped on its end and brought healing as I continued the application process.
The closer it got to finding out the results of my application process, the more I wanted the job and the more caffeinated butterflies exploded in my stomach. Such anticipation and nervousness and expectation and unknowing all at the same time. This is the first job as an adult I’ve applied for that I’ve deeply wanted before applying. Ya know? Not just because you need a job or because you could be good at it or because you’re done with your current job. Like a deep sense of purpose in the opportunity. An opportunity to unleash what Holy Spirit’s been brewing in you. A place where there is still so much for you to learn, as can be expected, but you know there’s a sense of specificity for who needs to receive what God’s given you. It’s such an unreal feeling.
On Thursday, May 23, 2019, months of waiting and unknown and butterflies culminated in a final interview and lunch. And ended with the offering and signing of a contract. A contract for what? Right… I haven’t told you yet…
You’re lookin’ at the new Residence Director of Walther Hall at Evangel University here in Springfield!
The journey I’ve been on over the last 10 years with God and how He’s brought me to the place of actually wanting to pour into these young women is the most astounding, and all that’s transpired in the last 4 months has been no less! I am so excited for this new adventure we’re embarking on. There will be sacrifices and joys, and there are kinks still being worked out, but we’re excited to adventure on to this next place God’s leading us to: Evangel University.