What’s New: Life, Death, & Falling Leaves
“I make all things new”. Those were the words God gave me for 2018. When we found out we were pregnant on April 9, those words made so much sense. However, all sense was lost on July 2 after delivering our son at 17 weeks.
Lately, I’ve been really looking under a microscope of my life to see in what areas God’s done new things. Not that there haven’t been obvious things, but more so looking in retrospect of what’s already been going on. That’s still in progress…
But one thing I noticed the other day, the leaves. When I returned from my work trip in Austin last week, it was as if in the 4 days I was gone, everything changed… like we left in summer/fall and came home to real fall. The trees were bursting with color! The moment the pilot said, “Please put your trays and seats in the upright position as we prepare to land,” I closed my book and looked out the window. I took a time lapse video, but you really can’t see the detail. Y’all, the most beautiful tree tops like cotton balls of bright shades of red and orange and yellow and green. I debated on time lapsing with one phone (work) while taking pictures with my other phone (personal)… but decided to just do what I was doing. I was enamored at the beauty and knew there was no way to do it justice, so I took it in.
My co-worker comes to pick up our co-workers and me from the airport, and the first thing I do after we get back to the office is go and take pictures of this tree that wasn’t so bright and beautiful when’d we left. Ever since, I have taken countless pictures of fall here in Springfield.
Now, you may be thinking, “What? Have you never seen leaves change colors before?” To that, my answer would be, not in Louisiana or Texas, but yes when I lived in New Hampshire. But the thing is, fall has not looked like this the previous 2 fall seasons I’ve lived here in Springtown, America. This is a first!
In the season of life that’s been the hardest, where we have experienced literal death and life has come from it, fall–the season where beauty and life comes from death–has been the most beautiful. The truth is, the leaves changing colors is absolutely breathtaking to me… all the bright, bold colors, the sound of the leaves when you walk through them, the leaf piles… it’s all so beautiful. But the real beauty is that for this to happen, the year’s rain or lack of rain determines when the leaves change colors and if there will be more brown or more bright colors… then they turn all these beautiful colors as they are dying. They dance on the wind on their way to the ground where they pile up and make the crunching sound as feet walk through them… through dead leaves. But that’s the only way to make room for new life in the spring! It’s such a beautiful process, yet there’s much death in it.
I don’t know if you’re still following along with me or you got lost in the rustling, dancing leaves, but of all the seasons I’ve lived here the one with the most beautiful death is also the one I experienced the most painful, beautiful death. I don’t mean that to sound morbid, but truthfully losing our son was painful, but there’s this beauty I’ve been gifted through his death—the joy of knowing I’ll see my boy again, the determination to not let what the enemy planned for evil destroy me, the decision to let Jesus use my pain and turn it into joy, the desire to know God more, the discovery of deeper identity far beyond my desire to be a mom, the grounding on and being deeper rooted in His Word to seek Him out. Such beauty that I honestly wouldn’t trade for the world!! My beautiful leaves fell, dark cold nights were experienced, and new life has begun to bud. I’m so thankful our seasons in life aren’t defined or restricted by time… my fall didn’t have to be 4 months, winter 4 months, to get to spring (new life) after 8 months.
It would be devastating if we walked around in the beauty of fall surrounded by the realization of death without seeing the reality of life. It’s even more devastating if we walk around with the realization of Jesus’ death on the cross without living in the life that came from His death… the beautiful gift of life more abundantly. To accept His voluntary death, but reject the life given from His death is as if to say it wasn’t enough. A sacrifice that was once and for all (Romans 6:10). Such a sacrifice is worth living in His abundant life.
Friends, just because death happens doesn’t mean life isn’t around the corner in other ways or that joy can’t be right in the middle of it. Perspective. So, adventure on… kick some leaves, admire the trees, and take a moment to be thankful for the little things.