In with the New

God’s word to me in 2017 was “Deeper healing”. I’d seen just that in the lives of various friends and family, most of them medical or health situations. In my life, however, that deeper healing was in the wounds of past relationships that had been negatively affecting the way I allowed myself to trust in relationships with other females and in the way that I would leave walls up to protect myself. What better way to heal relationship wounds with females than through a relationship with a female. Deeper healing took place in a way I didn’t expect at all.

So in early December 2017, God spoke to my heart His word for me, for us, for 2018: “I make all things new,” as I shared before in What’s New: Life, Death, & Falling Leaves. I had no clue what that would mean, but after the hardship of 2017, I wanted something new. At the end of 2017, I surrendered my desire to be a mom and left it in God’s hands. I knew He knew my heart’s deep desire to be a mom, but maybe that wasn’t His plan for me, I thought, or at least not by natural means.

I’d love to say I walked into 2018 with my head held high with a heart filled with hope and promise and great expectations, and while some of that is true, hope-filled is not. I walked into 2018 and into our first appointment with a new fertility specialist January 9th afraid to hope again, so much that I was not at all myself after that appointment. After an exhausting 2017 with a miscarriage in March and subsequent months of failed fertility treatments, much of my hope had deflated. It is important to also note, this hope was misguided, as my hope deflating was also due to my hope being in the wrong place—fertility doctors and treatments. Hope deferred does make the heart sick (Proverbs 13:12), but it also matters what or Who you hope in.

When we found out we were pregnant on April 9 after 2017 being the year it was, “I make all things new” made complete sense! And then all sense was lost when I delivered our son on July 2 after he’d already gone to be with the Lord. It had happened in the previous 4 days, as 5 days prior we’d heard the beautiful sound of his heart beating. For the first half of this year, I could see clearly how God had made things new. For the second half of the year, I’ve had to really search His heart and my own for what He’s made new.

Just after what I’ve written already, I want to say this:
He makes all things new, both the expected and the unexpected, the broken and the whole.

It was in late October when I started thinking again about “I make all things new”. Within the first two weeks of October, I’d been diagnosed with and treated for three different bacterial infections; I’d been told I had to have surgery to remove a ping pong ball sized blood clot on my cervix; I’d undergone surgery to remove said blood clot; and I’d gone to the Moms in the Making conference a few days after my surgery and had uprooted some lies I wasn’t aware of (a blog post I’ve been writing ever since, but haven’t completed). Then we’d planned and held a memorial service at our house for Zadok October 20. The month of October was a full one to say the least. And then November came around and after feeling like I’d experienced closure after the memorial and my grieving was done, the biggest unexpected wave hit me like a freight train. I was at the first baby shower I’d attended since Zadok was born. I was was so excited for her and her little boy on the way, but my heart sank for the lack of my little boy I was now carrying in my heart and no longer my womb. I had a hard time grasping what had been made new at that point. I’d felt like I was moving in reverse, as if I was rebreaking.

Thanksgiving came and while I was filled with remembering how far along I’d be and how big my belly would be because of how big our son would be just 3 weeks away from his due date, I was so thankful to be with dear friends, safe friends that knew and understood from knowing me and from knowing the pain themselves, intimately and personally. By the time December came, I still had no words to grasp what God had made new in the previous 11 months. I knew He didn’t give me words to have to fish for meaning, nor would He lie because He can’t. I knew I didn’t have clarity of vision or understanding yet. So I rested. I resolved in myself that by the end of the year, I would know.

The second week of December, after a conversation with God, I’d made the decision to heed His guidance and relieve myself of any expectations of myself, of how I should feel, if I’m able to define the tears that may fall, and whatever else would be an unnecessary expectation, and be gracious with myself. On December 10, two days before Zadok’s due date, we participated in a candlelight memorial service M.E.N.D. had invited us to in connection with Mercy Hospital and their Pastoral Care department. It was more emotional than I anticipated, as has been the trend. I was thankful to have had 3 of our dear friends as family with us to honor our little boys. December 12, two days later, I decided to take off from work and give myself a day of grace to myself and to celebrate our son however I needed. Again, I had zero expectations for his due date. A blog post will be shared at some point in the coming months about the week of his due date, but in short, this day was filled with joy and tears and laughter and gifts, both tangible and relational. I was surrounded with the love of friends and co-workers who just showed up. I tangibly felt the love of God on what could have been a more devastating day. This statement is out of order within this blog post, but one way I’ve been made new this year, is in humility and accepting the love of others, in allowing a level of vulnerability I’ve never really asked for and being in need in a way that forces me to lay down my pride and accept the love offered and handed to me in a tangible way. After all, love doesn’t only give, but it also receives. More on how I’ve become new later…

Along this new road, I’ve found more hypothetical billboards in scripture about newness than I realized. So, I’ll start at the one I knew—and the one that just so happened to be the YouVersion verse of the day January 1, 2018—followed by the others I’ve discovered, whether by self-discovery or others discovering and pointing it out to me.

“Behold I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:19 ESV

It is so important to read whole verses… Because while I remembered “He’s doing a new thing” and “making things new”, I didn’t remember the second part of this verse that changed everything: He would “make a way in the wilderness”—the dry place, the desert place, the place I’d need to depend on Him the most, the place things go to die if they try to endure alone, but are beautifully revived and renewed should they depend on the right source for sustenance—the place He would make “rivers in the desert”, living water for my survival in the desert place.

“Now, if anyone is enfolded into Christ, he has become an entirely new person. All that is related to the old order has vanished. Behold, everything is fresh and new. And God has made all things new, and reconciled us to himself, and given us the ministry of reconciling others to God.” 2 Corinthians 5:17-18 TPT

I invited Jesus into my heart as a child. That’s when I became a new creation, the old things passed away and all things became new, basically the English Standard Version (ESV) translation. In reading this verse, I wondered how it applied to now, to this year. So, I started by looking up the definition of the word new in this verse; mind you, looking up words and contexts and definitions in a concordance can become a black hole filled with really bright light, ironically, so bare with me. For all New Testament contextual definitions, the word new in Greek is kainos. For this specific verse in the ESV, the word new, metaphorically, refers to Christians who are renewed and changed from evil to good by the Spirit of God. Essentially, it’s the symbolism of baptism, the old man passing away [into the water], sins being washed away, and the new creation coming up. However, other definitions of the word new, in Biblical context, are:

1. Of uncertain affinity

2. Current or not before known, newly introduced

3. Newly made, not impaired by time or use

4. New, as opposed to old or former and hence also implying better, such as a new and better covenant (New Testament)

5. Also for renewed, made new, and therefore superior, more splendid, as in “new heavens and a new earth”

What stood out to me about these definitions is that to be made new does not mean that who I was before wasn’t good enough. These definitions tell me He takes what was there and He makes it better. Like a jar of clay, once it has been molded and fired in a kiln or baked in the sun it cannot be made into anything new unless it is broken and those pieces are used to make something new. Not in His anger nor in His wrath or in any other time does God pick up a jar He created and shatter it on the ground—it’s not who He is. But when the enemy realizes purpose for each clay pot, he does. Stealing, killing, destroying: that’s the enemy’s M.O. When sin was uncaged and unleashed into the world, the enemy was released too. That was the choice of humanity. So unfortunately that does mean bad things happen to good people and unfortunate, gut-wrenching things happen like my little boy’s candle being snuffed out so soon, the unexplainable happens. But the beauty of God is He weeps when we do and He sweeps up all of those pieces the enemy thought were done with and discardable, pieces them back together, makes something new and beautiful, then breathes fresh life into it.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2 ESV

One of the definitions of renew is to give fresh life or strength to another is to replace (something that is broken or worn out). With being made new comes a renewal, really constant renewals, daily renewals of taking broken ways of thinking and lies and replacing them with truth that brings fresh life and strength to your soul. Renewing your mind to renew your soul.

I’m learning that when you’ve been made new, when the old ways of doing things, old ways of emoting, old hurts, old fears, and even the things that weren’t unhealthy, when the pieces of broken are taken with the pieces of whole to make something new, the body has to develop new muscle memory even once the heart and mind have changed. Much like getting used to a prosthetic leg or learning to walk again after physical therapy, being made new includes some wobbling and getting used to a new walk on new legs. I’ve never broken a leg or any other body part for that matter, but I do know that the body often experiences inflammation and swelling within the healing process. The muscles are getting readjusted and retaught. The wires that connected the brain and the muscle function is being rewired and replaced… renewed, if you will. The old ways of walking, thinking, etc, don’t work anymore. New processes have to be put into place.

“And to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” Ephesians 4:24 ESV

With the process of being made new has come a deeper understanding of identity and accepting who I was created to be: an image bearer. The image of God, created in His likeness. You can run from it or you can accept it, putting on the new self and becoming more and more like who He fashioned you to be… fashioned me to be.

In all of the grieving and roller coaster of emotions over the last 5 months and not understanding how God “making all things new” tied into anything and how this year’s brokenness tied into what God was doing, this is what came to my heart after Zadok’s due date:

I wasn’t made broken. There were no mistakes, I lacked nothing with the fingerprint of my Maker imprinted in the grooves of my skin. But then sin entered the world and ushered in brokenness. He knew storms would come and my jar of clay would shatter, and like the Master Potter He is, he picked up the major pieces, the largest broken pieces… my foundation was reset, my belief reestablished, my eyes set on Him, my vision reset. He then grabbed the medium pieces and fashioned them just so. And just when it appeared this refashioned jar would suffice, He filled every crack and crevice with the small shards others would discard. But, no, not Him. Not a dust of old clay or sharp edged fragment would go to waste; every broken piece He used.

When I was unsure of how these pieces would ever fit together again, He made something new… something more beautiful than before. Broken or not, I’m a product of His doing, a work of His hands, His thoughts, ideas, and vision put into action. The breaking of the jar forced colors to mix like they’d never been imagined, like they’d never been allowed. No blueprint could’ve fashioned this. No mediocre artist could’ve made this on their own. No, this was a product of mastery. This was experience and grace; this was the power of creation and the epitome of creativity; this was no fear of what was broken; this was ultimate love and tenderness for every piece; this was strength in these Almighty hands; this was unable to be replicated in all its perfection; this was versatile artistry taking on fresh purpose and design. Sure it could be used for some similar things than before, but oh the endless possibilities of greater capacity than anyone knew it could contain. This was broken made whole. This was old made new. This was me.

“I make all things new”, He said. I take all the broken and all the discarded and every fragment swept to the floor. I collect them all and treat them with love. I know the stories. I know the heat it’s been through and I was there when it fell. I saw the shatter and I saw the tears and the tear-soaked clay. Material that couldn’t be resoftened, but could be refashioned. Piece by piece the Giver of Life itself put the pieces together, not to recreate what was, but to breathe new life and creativity into what will be. A masterpiece.

Father brought back to memory a poem I’d written a few months ago, Tapestry. I wrote about this tapestry and how, as pain, it was torn to shreds, but God in His love and grace sewed all the shreds of fabric back together. Instead of discarding the shreds of pain, they were used to make a beautiful masterpiece, nothing to be wasted,

You used shreds of pain
In the beauty of this masterpiece that could have been discarded
You used to make something beautiful
A tapestry once called pain
Saved to become a greater tapestry
Pieces of a greater work

In the same memory, He showed me how I’ve clung to Him not letting any experience go wasted… and how both the tapestry and the jar started one way, but He took what was there to make something new, a Masterpiece. His making me new is making me His masterpiece: a work of outstanding artistry, skill, or workmanship, “a great literary masterpiece, an artist’s or craftsman’s best piece of work”.

Often times when you’re the one who’s had work done on them, there are things you can tell have changed from the inside. However, one of the beauties in community and having a close inner circle is that when you can’t see the growth yet, when you still feel like you’re limping with an unhealed leg, your inner circle sees a brand new walk. They see the change and newness sometimes before you can. I imagine feeling like a clay pot brought to life… I know what my shell feels like from the inside; I endured the fall off the shelf; and I wasn’t in a full coma during the reparation process with my Creator. So while I was still swollen from the heat from His hands and the heat from the kiln, my fellow masterpieces were able to see the beauty before I could. They could see it from an angle I’d never see. You see when you have people that are outside your inner circle at an arms length or further away, they see the outside. They can’t necessarily see all the details, but they can see you. But then there’s your inner circle kept within a hugs embrace. They see you on the outside; they see the details, the imperfections, and what makes up your beauty before and after the fall. But they’re also held close enough to see into your eyes. They see the hurt and remind of the light behind the pain. They see when the light starts beaming through again and the pain begins to diminish. They see the tears that wash your eyes and cleanse your soul. They see the words in your eyes when your heart isn’t able to adequately communicate words through your mouth. That is, if you let them, if you allow them close enough to see it all, to see what’s been made new.

I have 2 specific friends in my inner hug circle that could see me up close this year. So while I feel like a different and new person compared to Charis on January 1, 2018, they’ve seen new since before I could. So in preparing to write this culmination piece, I asked them from an outside, up close perspective, what they’ve seen grow in me… What’s new? So between their perspective and mine, comparing 2018 to 2017 and what’s transpired in me since January 1, 2018, this is what’s been made new:

• My hope: I was afraid to hope again after hoping in doctors and specialists. My hope in Christ was renewed. No matter what the road ahead looks like, His promises are true.

• My belief in God’s plan: In 2017 I believed that it wasn’t God’s plan for me to birth children. By the end of this year, I’ve learned that sin was not a part of God’s plan. When sin entered, so did death and disease and infertility and miscarriage. God’s plan from day 1 was for me to be fruitful and multiply (Gen. 1:28, 9:7).

• Mason’s dreams: Before we lost our son 3 days before Mason’s 29th birthday, following a dream, let alone having dreams, was not in his plan. In the 5 years we’ve been married and before while dating, anytime I’d asked what his dreams were, he’d always without fail tell me, “To give wings to your dreams.” To me, that’s sweet, but that’s not a dream. That wasn’t why he was created. I’ve always believed he has an a purpose and calling all his own that could be achieved with or without me. So for years, I’ve prayed for him to dream. Night dreams. Day dreams. Life dreams. I can’t fully explain what happened when we lost Zadok, but it awakened something in him to dream. What he thought were crazy ideas in his heart, God put wings to. And in August, my husband (@mzthebarber—’MZ’ standing for Malachi and Zadok, our sons in Heaven) went back to school to be a barber/hair stylist. And then Heaven’s Sons Barbering & Styling was born in his heart. He and I have been through 2 bible colleges together and my heart has never been filled with such joy as it is now watching him explore and perfect a craft he absolutely loves doing. He’s always focused on just using the skills he new he had (typically administrative skills) to make sure he always could provide for his family.

• Our trust in Jehovah Jireh, my Provider (Gen. 22:14): I grew up watching God provide for my family when finances were tight. I experienced trusting God with my finances when I was in bible college. And then, God put dreams in Mason’s heart to go back to school for barbering and that consequently meant trusting God as our provider even more while Mason eventually started working part-time. It is true that where He guides, He provides… in only ways He can. The fact is finances are absolutely tight, tighter than they’ve ever been. But the truth is “My God will supply every need of [mine] according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).

• My intimacy in my relationship with Jesus: There was depth in my relationship with Jesus before, but on July 2, 2018, we were given the choice of blaming God and walking away or grieve on God’s lap. The choice to follow Him in my grieving, to cling to Him at my most vulnerable, like in any relationship, led to an intimacy and trust in Him that has become life and breath to me, life support in the quietest times keeping me alive. In a year that felt like a plummet from the mountain top, hitting trees all the way down before landing at the bottom, I found my relationship with Christ deepened as I learned to be gracious with myself (a constant lesson) and rely on Him as He mended me back together to make me new. Desert, wilderness seasons have a way of drawing you closer to your life source.

• Friendships: This year brought new friendships all of which started March 29, 3 days after our first miscarriage anniversary. I’d heard about Moms in the Making from my dad after posting on here about Malachi’s anniversary. Long story short, I attended the local group during our 2 week wait. The second time going, I got to announce our pregnancy. I didn’t know that a little more than 3 months later I go into pre-term labor and would say yes to continuing going to support group and would be the only one with the leader. I didn’t know that from this painful time new life would form in the shape of a beautiful friendship with the leader as she and I were the only ones to show up. Where I know it was frustrating to her, God was busy connecting our hearts. This same friendship like a grapevine spread to connect me to so many other sweet women with a common thread of delayed fertility and a conference I deeply needed to attend.

• New truths: When I attended the Moms in the Making Conference, I uprooted some lies that had been lurking around for way too long, lies that get in the way of who I’m called to be as an image bearer. These lies of false humility in not proclaiming boldly what God’s done in my life in fear of being seen as prideful and of inferiority to women I see as Boss Babes were my truths. It was also one of my truths that God allowed this to happen, and while I can’t say that I fully understand God’s role in how the pain happens, I know God’s role in when the pain happens. But that’s why it’s not enough to tell people, “Live your truth!” Our personal truths are faulty because we’re human. We can’t rely our truths on something or someone as fallible, ever changing, and swayed by every storm as humans are if not rooted in absolute truth. That’s why our truths have to be sought out in the One who is Truth. We have to search His heart and His Word for truth to live in truth. It sets us free, ya know?

• Desire to write: I’ve journaled for years. I’ve written poetry off and on for years. But in this season, this deeper desire and need to write with my heart wide open was pulled from the depths of me like never before. Sharing this season through writing has been more therapeutic than I ever could’ve imagined and such a blessing as friends and strangers alike have thanked me for sharing our journey. Father truly uses all of the things if we allow Him to and journey with Him. Thanks friends, old and new, for following this journey.

• Humility & trust: I’ve learned from being in need to trust the words and heart of those that say they love you and want to help. I don’t build my life on personality tests, but when I read my enneagram type evaluation of relationship between ones (my husband) and twos (me) I could totally attest to the truth in “Twos feel that they must take care of everyone else’s needs before they are allowed to have needs themselves. Life is about serving others and making themselves useful so that others will need them and want them in their lives.” This is something I was forced to work on in 2018, and I’m so glad I did. I hasn’t been an easy task sharing my needs and allowing others to meet them. I’ve had to fight feeling like I’m inconveniencing others and accept the same love I try to share. It’s a humbling thing, friends. My trust in these folks has only deepened.

Just in writing this, I am so amazed at what God’s done in this year. To be honest, January to June felt like one year and July felt like the whole year started over. To say it has been long is a gross understatement. But to say it has been beautiful is also a gross understatement. The world would say I should be angry and turn away from a God that would let me baby be born dead or they would commend me on being so positive, but friends with the year we’ve had, from the joy of finding out after almost 3 years you’re pregnant to the devastation of that miracle being ripped away, there is no amount of positivity that can truly help you cope through grief and end on a hopeful, joy-filled note. Only Jesus can do that. The pain has been immense. The grieving has been an ocean sometimes on the shore and sometimes crashing in the waves. But my hope has settled in and on the Rock that is Higher than I. And my joy has sustained, though I’ve had to learn it doesn’t always look like happiness. The enemy thought he was going to win over the Musicks this year, but what he didn’t know was the rude awakening on it’s way when we’d choose Jesus and allow Him to be our life and breath. That what he thought he stole, at the end of the story Zadok’s mine; when we get to Heaven, we get our boys. Zadok’s life was and is filled with purpose, and God continues to work in unexplainable ways through his 17-gestational-week life… all 4.6 ounces and 8 inches of him.

My heart broke this year, but it also was mended and made new with reinforcements to make it stronger. My grace for myself grew, though I’m still learning what that looks like. My identity in Him deepened this year making the image more clear as He opened my eyes to see that I’m called to more than being a mom, that that is only one beautiful aspect of who I am and who I’m called to be. I became more acquainted with humility this year as I found myself in a place of vulnerability where I needed people, I needed my tribe, my herd, my oaks. I needed to allow God to use other people in my life to be His tangible love. I had to receive His love like never before this year. This year, I birthed my baby boy, our son, handed him back to God in a context I never saw coming, and then learned to celebrate his life with tears and joy and cupcakes.

There’s this song by Marvin Sapp I remember from my childhood that pops into my brain every so often. And it’s a song that really defines the reality of this season:

Never would have made it
Never could have made it, without you
I would have lost it all
But now I see how you were there for me

And I can say

I’m stronger, I’m wiser
I’m better, much better
When I look back over all you brought me through
I can see that you were the one I held on to

Never would have made it
Never could have made it without you

I would have lost it all
But now I see how you were there for me

That’s the truth, friends. I wouldn’t have survived this year without Jesus. But because I had Jesus, I more than survived. If there’s one thing I know for certain, it’s that nothing that transpired this year was a surprise to God. This was a year to write home about, so I’m sharing it with you. I don’t know what 2019 will look like, but I’m ready to adventure on and I hope you are too.

I want to leave you with this last song that I’m singing over us both for 2019:

Prophesy Your Promise by Brian & Katie Torwalt

I found You in the middle of my mess
You had been there all along
Open arms and open heart, You called me in
You didn’t hesitate at all

And the lies I once believed, they crumble
With the weight of Your truth
And the fear that gripped my heart, is arrested
So that I can see You

When I only see in part
I will prophesy Your promise
I believe in You, God
‘Cause You finish what You start
I will trust You in the process
I believe You, God

You set a table in the middle of my war
You knew the outcome of it all
When what I faced looked like it would never end
You said, watch the giants fall

And the lies I once believed, they crumble
At the weight of Your truth
And that fear that gripped my heart, is arrested
So that I can see You

And when I only see in part
I will prophesy Your promise
I believe You, God 
‘Cause You finish what You start
I will trust You in the process
I believe You, God
And when I only see in part
I will prophesy Your promise
I believe You, God
‘Cause You finish what You start
I will trust You in the process
I believe You, God

And fear can go to hell
Shame can go there too
I know whose I am
God, I belong to You
And fear can go to hell
Shame can go there too
I know whose I am
God, I belong to You

SCRIPTURES TO CLING TO
(Scriptures that have been life and breath to my soul in 2018):

“For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.”

Romans 8:24-25 NIV

“Through our faith, the mighty power of God constantly guards us until our full salvation is ready to be revealed in the last time. May the thought of this cause you to jump for joy, even though lately you’ve had to put up with the grief of many trials. But these only reveal the sterling core of your faith, which is far more valuable than gold that perishes, for even gold is refined by fire. Your authentic faith will result in even more praise, glory, and honor when Jesus the Anointed One is revealed. You love him passionately although you did not see him, but through believing in him you are saturated with an ecstatic joy, indescribable sublime and immersed in glory. For you are reaping the harvest of your faith—the full salvation promised you—your souls’ victory!”

1 Peter 1:5-9 TPT

“Blessed is she who has believed that he would fulfill his promises to her.”
Luke 1:45 NIV

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.”
Proverbs 31:25-26 NLT 

“So she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, “You are a God of seeing,” for she said, “Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.””
Genesis 16:13 ESV

“But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”
Isaiah 43:1-2

“All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.”

Romans 8:22-25 MSG

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10 ESV

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

John 14:27 ESV

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”

Romans 15:13 ESV

“I am convinced that my God will fully satisfy every need you have, for I have seen the abundant riches of glory revealed to me through the Anointed One, Jesus Christ!”

Philippians 4:19 TPT

“Don’t be pulled in different directions or worried about a thing. Be saturated in prayer throughout each day, offering your faith-filled requests before God with overflowing gratitude. Tell him every detail of your life, then God’s wonderful peace that transcends human understanding, will make the answers known to you through Jesus Christ. So keep your thoughts continually fixed on all that is authentic and real, honorable and admirable, beautiful and respectful, pure and holy, merciful and kind. And fasten your thoughts on every glorious work of God, praising him always.”

Philippians 4:6-8 TPT

“Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?”

Matthew 6:26 ESV

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

Philippians 4:11-13 ESV

“And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

Romans 5:5 ESV

“The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.”

Zephaniah 3:17 ESV