Under Construction
This morning a girlfriend came over to see if one of my pairs of black heels would work for her outfit for an event she’s going to this evening. She’s not at all used to high [HIGH] heels and mine fall into that category. She came in with one dress she was planning on wearing and one dress she bought as a goal dress which she fully felt like she could achieve her optimal look in by the end of the summer.
She tried on the first pair of shoes, but they were a little too small. She tried on the second pair and they fit, but had a narrower, slightly higher heel. She was pretty certain she couldn’t do the pair that fit, certain she’d roll her ankle and break something. I don’t wear heels nearly as often as I used to, but you know when someone can’t walk well in heels. Mason usually calls them “trompers” or says they look like a baby giraffe. Truth be told, when we started dating and I started wearing heels, I lucked out being able to walk in heels, otherwise I would’ve been the one being called a baby giraffe! SO watching my friend walk in heels in my house this morning, she’s no baby giraffe! She walked on our wood floors then transitioned onto the carpet and looked like she’s walked in high heels before, certainly not as if it were her first time.
{I’m going somewhere, hang with me…}
By this time, she’d put on her goal dress I’d wanted to see and was strutting through my house in higher heels she’s ever worn. As much as we were surprised by how well she walked and how great the dress looked on her, it wasn’t enough. She found all the little flaws that could be wrong with the dress and how she looked in it—a “tire” around her midsection, scars on her legs—meanwhile, we thought she looked amazing! Of course Mason in the meantime had gone through my jewelry to find earrings and necklaces she could also choose from to go with this dress brought to our house intended to be the “goal dress”. She tried on a pair of earrings much bigger/longer than she’s used to and immediately said, “They’re really cute, but they’re not me,” as she’s used to simply and classic and understated, and that’s perfectly okay. Except. Those same earrings that were “not her” were tried on over and over as they grew on her. She tried on a pearl necklace with pearl earrings; she tried on a layered gold necklace with her diamond studs; and she circled back to those statement earrings that were “not her”. Being the person and friend I am, I pointed out that what was once “not her” just so happens to be the pair she kept coming back to and the heels she was sure she’d fall and break something in were the shoes she was walking back and forth to and from the mirror checking out the jewelry options. She’d stopped thinking about her inability to walk in shoes that always looked daunting but had never tried and was walking confidently as if she’s walked plenty in those shoes.
How many times in life have we looked at or imagined something that appeared to be daunting and instead of taking a courageous step forward to try it we back up in fear? OR how many times have you thought about the dreams in your heart that are big and scary and daunting and would take no less than a miracle and act of God to achieve (as it should) and instead of taking a courageous step forward to attempt stepping into your dreams and callings you stay where you’re comfortable or stay where you know “this is me”?
I’m not sure if anyone else has ever said this, but I’ve certainly called myself a “work in progress”. Calling yourself a “work in progress” literally means you are not finished, you are [under construction]. You, my friend, are incomplete, and that is a beautiful place to be. You have accepted that there is still more to be learned, there are still dreams to step in to, there are still new things to try, there are still best friends you have yet to meet, and there are miracles yet to be performed. Often times we are the ones who are the biggest miracles in the making, as much as we tend to put ourselves in a box labeled “this is me” without taking courageous steps to try the easy, the hard, and everything in between. We often live in this place of seeing ourselves through this lens of limitations and comparison called Not Enough, when we are, in fact, enough… cause Jesus makes us enough.
It would’ve been perfectly fine if my girlfriend this morning was confidently against wearing the goal dress tonight (and she may choose not to which is also fine) cause it was legit too small and the earrings/jewelry because she’s tried and from trying has decided it’s not her taste or style. It would’ve been perfectly fine if her reasons to not try new things were legitimate, but y’all, we are the absolute harshest critics of ourselves! Good friends don’t let friends believe lies about themselves. Let’s grab the windex, clean off the dirty mirror that gives a false reflection, and point each other to truth. That’s why I told my friend, “Seriously?! You’re freakin gorgeous! This is legit hot mom status! Let yourself be beautiful.” Don’t hide your beautiful friends. Don’t let your friends hide their beautiful. Don’t believe the lie that if you champion her beauty that it will distract from your beauty. Don’t believe the lie that you need to hide your beauty so it doesn’t distract from someone else’s beauty. Honestly, I’m not sure if this paragraph was a tangent or not, but it’s what needed to be said, I feel.
Today was not only an opportunity to encourage my friend, but it was also a good reminder that I’m not who I used to be and I’m not yet who I am to become; that I’ve come a long way and grown a lot and I’ve got a ways to go and growing to do too. You and I, we are under construction. We are ever changing and ever growing (if we allow it). Don’t settle in to who you are right now, cause you are going to change, for the better. Identity is a process. Should you allow Jesus to make you better, who you are currently is unfinished. In Philippians 1:6, Pauls says,
“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you
will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.“
That means you are not yet complete, friend. So, don’t stop now. Don’t stop here. Try on the scary shoes. Try on the jewelry you’re not used to wearing. Say Yes to the scary ask God’s requested of you. Go back to school at 45 years old. Apply for that job you don’t think you’re qualified for. Try something new because you’re a student of yourself and you might actually enjoy [it]. Do whatever [it] is. Get to know you. Seek Father’s heart in the process of discovering your identity as He is the one who defines us. Take those courageous steps forward and adventure on.
Also. There’s this song called Unfinished by Mandisa (some of the lyrics below). Go ahead and give it a listen.
He started something good and I’m gonna believe it
He started something good and He’s gonna complete it
So I’ll celebrate the truth
His work in me ain’t through
I’m just unfinished